Zen Garden was, without a doubt, the most unanimously recommended restaurant in Accra. Reviews from all sides were glowing. None of them mentioned the food. All they talked about was the experience. It took follow up questions to confirm that they really do sell food and drinks. So, after two weekends away for work and leisure, we had no choice but to hit the damn club.
Music starts at 8:00, so they said to get there at 7:00 to claim a spot. Knowing that African time runs anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours late, we compromised and pulled up at 7:15 . Cover was firm at 100 cedis ($9) per person, despite the restaurant being mostly empty. We were annoyed by the principle of it. By the end, I would have paid double.
Our table was basically inside of the stage, which took up half of the outdoor venue. Drinks came immediately, but food was on a different schedule. The scene began to shift as we waited. Big groups filled long tables on both sides of the bilevel restaurant. It was easy to tell who was a local and who was not. There are certain nuances to an American that makes them easy to spot anywhere. Our waddling walk, commitment to comfortable shoes, constant need to lean, and being allergic to not dressing like shit.
At 8:00 on the dot, the band started and the energy rose. It reached a climax at 8:10 when sound check finished and they disappeared for another hour. Huge speakers blared pop and high life music as the crowd settled in.
When the band came back, my jollof plate was nearly empty and the place was ready. Two vocalists traded off one mic while a sound guy ran back and forth trying to fix the second one – an issue that had come up in sound check and not been fixed. The older crowd was delighted when they kicked off with reggae hits. As the night went on the median age dropped and the music responded accordingly. More pop and high life – Ghanaian, Nigerian, American, etc. – pumped the space with noise.
Gradually, the stage began to fill. It started with the media team, who outnumbered the band members. Then, a vocalist pulled a woman from a nearby table onto the stage. She made no effort to hide that she did not want to be there. After humoring the guy for no more than four seconds, she climbed back to her seat. Stunned, the singer repeated, “Are you done? Are you done? Are you done?” into the mic while she looked into the distance, ignoring him. That killed the energy for a bit. They brought it back by playing “It Wasn’t Me”, much to my delight. A singer roamed through the crowd forcing audience members to sing into the mic.
The crowd engagement was shaky. A serious energy shift came when an older couple, the man in a shiny button down and his bride in a leopard print dress, invited themselves on stage to bump and grind. The gyration in their hips inspired a few others to absorb the spotlight. This included a young couple, in which the woman had a fierce bob, who could move like there was no tomorrow. They skated across the stage while perfectly in sync as if they had known each other for a century. Her bob flowed in the warm wind, as he spun her around and around.
It was about this time that we started trying to pay the bill. After a long wait, we followed up, then again, then one more time. As we sat in purgatory the stage filled to capacity. Old and young danced crazy style to the beat. Grinding was the preferred move of Gen X couples as the men’s dress pants met satin dresses to create something greater than the sum of its parts. As I learned in health class, what they were doing was bound to happen whenever a man loves a woman. It was beautiful and perfectly natural.
Grinding be damned, we wanted to get the hell home, and the only thing standing between us and the door was a $50 check. Eventually, after telling the manager and having to calculate the amount ourselves based on the menu, they got our hard-earned half a benjamin and we went home.
All in all, we spent three hours in Zen Garden and it taught me one thing: there is no better place in Accra than this. Don’t worry about the food or the drinks or paying the bill, the show is worth the trip.