THE WASHINGTON WEST WHAT'S GOING ONS

LOCAL

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PHILLY

AUG 2026 (3)

LOCAL

ISSUE

35

1 PAGE

PHILLY

Overhead view of da market

In the Super Market

Only slightly overwhelmed and scared in a busy space

Alex Hoffman

When I got selected to spend the month in Ghana I pictured claustrophobic markets supplying constant doses of visual, audial, and olfactory overstimulation. Tanzania and Thailand left memories of my pasty complexion drawing vendors eager to woo me into their shop. The merchants, who rival timeshare salespeople in their pushiness, yell, gesture, and even touch to get a share of your Western dollars. It is stressful and exhausting, but thrilling. It is impossible to blend in. Feeling the eyes on you through tight corridors and even tighter shops, shouldering the pressure of shop owners as you try to haggle down their absurd first price. That is the closest to Anthony Bourdain that you will ever feel. The only release valve is that you are not alone. Other tourists dot the market, pulling their own share of attention. Each person carrying the same promise of a quick sale.

 Makalo market was different. The size alone was enough to make you feel small. Rows and rows of buildings were stuff with vendors in shops, corridors, and staircases. Moving between stalls meant squeezing your body between bead displays, stepping over boxes of knockoff shoes, and sidestepping men hand making wigs. Despite the cool, rainy morning, the heat rose in the building. Before long I felt a drop of sweat down my back. My body begged to be outside with the breeze, but we were deep in the labyrinth looking for fabric and beads. Two of us had already made our first purchase. We followed a fabric seller into her shop where I bought six yards of fabric for $15. The price seemed so good – half what they charged in the Accra Mall – that negotiation was far from my mind. Buying the first thing you see is a stereotypical tourist move, but it felt good to have something. This way the rest of the shopping had no objective. I had what I needed.

 We were given vague directions for where to find more craft materials. The instructions led us up on a Scooby Doo chase through the first building, going up two floors, down two floors, left then right then straight then left, and so on depending on who you asked. Soon we learned that nobody knew and accepted our fate of wandering. A fortunate turn brought us out onto Kojo Thompson Road, where the chaos began. Vendors packed both sides of the sidewalk, creating a narrow space about two feet wide for shoppers to walk through. Stalls spilled far into the street, which is packed with pedestrians avoiding the tight corridor created by the merchants. Cars engaged in a constant honking cycle as people swarmed around their vehicles.

There was a loose organization to Kojo Thompson Road. First were the produce vendors. Then, displays of cocoyams gave way to those of raw meat. Flies swarmed buckets of bright red pig, goat, and whatever else piled so high they were one bump away from falling to the muddy concrete. Next came the fish market, which STUNK. It began with colonies of live snails packed into bowls and crawling all over each other, leaving a layer of slime. Crabs tried their best to climb out of the big metal basins that are ubiquitous across Ghana. The walls proved too steep for them. Their little black eyes blinked back at you as they accepted their fate. The pungent fumes from the fish, dried, fresh, and live, was combatted by the spice vendors that came next. Containers of hibiscus, cinnamon, dried pepper, and other Ghanaian spices filled the makeshift tables. Sprinkled throughout were men hawking Zara clothing, tote bags, and net sponges. Whole chunks of the market were dedicated to kitchen wares selling strainers, utensils, and bowls – all comically oversized.

 A big distinction between Makalo and other markets I have been to is that nobody else was non-Ghanaian – at least not visibly. And by visibly I mean that nobody else there was white. Even more so, they didn’t care at all that we were so obviously foreign. The pushiness from other markets was not there, expect in the women’s shoe building where they shouted and grabbed my arm to try to get me to buy their size 7W kitten heels, which would have made my legs look killer. Outside of that inhospitable corner, the vendors were reasonable. They made a pitch but took no, either verbal or a wave of the hand, for an answer and turned their attention to the next.

 We wandered through the maze of buildings with almost no success at finding anything until it became time to leave. On a map, we had hardly scratched the surface, but the experience felt authentic. Those around us were running their Saturday errands. Vendors worked for every sale, directing attention only to customers they deemed worth the energy. It was busy and chaotic. We left satisfied and a little thankful to be out of the storm.

Packed stage at Zen Garden

This Club has Jollof and Middle-Aged Grinding

You simply HAVE to go

Alex Hoffman

Zen Garden was, without a doubt, the most unanimously recommended restaurant in Accra. Reviews from all sides were glowing. None of them mentioned the food. All they talked about was the experience. It took follow up questions to confirm that they really do sell food and drinks. So, after two weekends away for work and leisure, we had no choice but to hit the damn club.

Music starts at 8:00, so they said to get there at 7:00 to claim a spot. Knowing that African time runs anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours late, we compromised and pulled up at 7:15 . Cover was firm at 100 cedis ($9) per person, despite the restaurant being mostly empty. We were annoyed by the principle of it. By the end, I would have paid double.

Our table was basically inside of the stage, which took up half of the outdoor venue. Drinks came immediately, but food was on a different schedule. The scene began to shift as we waited. Big groups filled long tables on both sides of the bilevel restaurant. It was easy to tell who was a local and who was not. There are certain nuances to an American that makes them easy to spot anywhere. Our waddling walk, commitment to comfortable shoes, constant need to lean, and being allergic to not dressing like shit.

At 8:00 on the dot, the band started and the energy rose. It reached a climax at 8:10 when sound check finished and they disappeared for another hour. Huge speakers blared pop and high life music as the crowd settled in.

When the band came back, my jollof plate was nearly empty and the place was ready. Two vocalists traded off one mic while a sound guy ran back and forth trying to fix the second one – an issue that had come up in sound check and not been fixed. The older crowd was delighted when they kicked off with reggae hits. As the night went on the median age dropped and the music responded accordingly. More pop and high life – Ghanaian, Nigerian, American, etc. – pumped the space with noise.

Gradually, the stage began to fill. It started with the media team, who outnumbered the band members. Then, a vocalist pulled a woman from a nearby table onto the stage. She made no effort to hide that she did not want to be there. After humoring the guy for no more than four seconds, she climbed back to her seat. Stunned, the singer repeated, “Are you done? Are you done? Are you done?” into the mic while she looked into the distance, ignoring him. That killed the energy for a bit. They brought it back by playing “It Wasn’t Me”, much to my delight. A singer roamed through the crowd forcing audience members to sing into the mic.

The crowd engagement was shaky. A serious energy shift came when an older couple, the man in a shiny button down and his bride in a leopard print dress, invited themselves on stage to bump and grind. The gyration in their hips inspired a few others to absorb the spotlight. This included a young couple, in which the woman had a fierce bob, who could move like there was no tomorrow. They skated across the stage while perfectly in sync as if they had known each other for a century. Her bob flowed in the warm wind, as he spun her around and around. 

It was about this time that we started trying to pay the bill. After a long wait, we followed up, then again, then one more time. As we sat in purgatory the stage filled to capacity. Old and young danced crazy style to the beat. Grinding was the preferred move of Gen X couples as the men’s dress pants met satin dresses to create something greater than the sum of its parts. As I learned in health class, what they were doing was bound to happen whenever a man loves a woman. It was beautiful and perfectly natural.

Grinding be damned, we wanted to get the hell home, and the only thing standing between us and the door was a $50 check. Eventually, after telling the manager and having to calculate the amount ourselves based on the menu, they got our hard-earned half a benjamin and we went home.

All in all, we spent three hours in Zen Garden and it taught me one thing: there is no better place in Accra than this. Don’t worry about the food or the drinks or paying the bill, the show is worth the trip.

The Odyssey, but Harder and Longer

A long car day on a trip of long car days

Alex Hoffman

At some point the endless car rides would have to end. Unfortunately, this was not that day. It began with an hour drive north, then an hour and a half drive south, which brought us back directly past our hotel. The logistics of why we drove an hour to then turn around and go within a stones throw of the hotel are inconsequential. The only thing I will say about it is that it made sense in some ways and not at all in others.

Regardless, after we passed the hotel the road turned to mud. It was wet from the previous days downpour — the first rain of the trip — which helped to control the dust, but deep puddles gave the truck trouble. We rolled onto a remarkably smooth dirt road, an outlier compared to the area’s rocky soil, and moved quickly. This short lived momentum ended when we rounded a corner to see an excavator digging away mud that had swallowed a construction truck. A small number of cars and pedestrians gathered to watch the spectacle. It was reminiscent of the way Philadelphians collect on sidewalks when an Amazon truck is blocking a bus or when two citizens get in a screaming match over a minor slight. People are the same all around the world.

At our first stop a local assemblyman pitched us on his business plan to Rent-A-Center water faucets for his lower income constituents. There was a lot of logic to it and his enthusiasm was infectious, but his energy was wasted on our powerless ears. It was about this time, three hours post breakfast, that we realized that we hadn’t packed any food for the day. The first patters of a growling stomach were rising above the oats and toast I ate for breakfast. It was destined to be a long day with little food and water.

Our next few stops were in quick succession and uneventful. The trip to the fourth was the most arduous. A soldier with an M16 motioned for us to stop as we crossed a bridge, for the third time that day and twentieth time of the trip. He waited for me to roll down my window while looking curiously around the car then asked me, the only white guy in the car, if I was okay. My answer did not satisfy him and he asked a series of simple questions (e.g. where are you going?) that I did not know the answer to. With every question he stole a glance at my open computer screen with suspicion. He stared so intently that it seemed like he thought the true reason for my being there would be on the screen: either a size 40 font “HELP” or a step-by-step plan for how I intended to blow up the bridge with an IED. Our driver convinced him all was normal and he waved for us to proceed. We couldn’t help but feel that he thought I was being kidnapped and trafficked. It would’ve been a brilliant camouflage to put me in the front seat with access to my phone, laptop and all my belongings. Nobody would suspect a thing except for the keen eye of one heavily armed soldier. The bridge was safer that day because of him.

Early into the ninety minute drive, past the bridge and its strange guardian, the biome changed and we were surrounded by rice fields without a hill in sight for miles. We had entered Ghanaian Iowa. Much like American Iowa, the flatness was unsettling. It was perfectly level, like an enterprising agrarian had taken a steamroller to the land. Towns were far from each other and much smaller than their counterparts across the river. We drove for over an hour in this expanse passing tiny communities and their residents, one of which was wearing a worn shirt with the outline of Ohio that said, “HOME”. The car was hot. The car is always hot. Our driver and NGO partner spoke back and forth in Twi as each turn approached. I am no linguist, but context clues convinced me that we were lost. Whether that was true or not, we eventually pulled onto a wide dirt road heavily trafficked by trucks and things seemed more certain.

At this point my hunger was guttural. It twisted my stomach into a knot, alternating between pain, rumbling, and peace as my body begged for victuals. It was 2:30 at this point, so I had really just skipped lunch. We skipped lunch every day in the field, so my body should have adapted, but today felt different. The lack of water and idleness perpetuated my weakness.

By the end of the day, we had spent nine hours in the car. The bumpy roads had compressed my spine until I was eye to eye with Danny DeVito. I prayed to my creator to please never make me get in a car again. We truly do have an angry god, because the next morning we were back on four wheels for a three hour drive home.

Just floor it and you’ll be right out

The Odyssey, but Harder and Longer

A long car day on a trip of long car days

Alex Hoffman

At some point the endless car rides would have to end. Unfortunately, this was not that day. It began with an hour drive north, then an hour and a half drive south, which brought us back directly past our hotel. The logistics of why we drove an hour to then turn around and go within a stones throw of the hotel are inconsequential. The only thing I will say about it is that it made sense in some ways and not at all in others.

Regardless, after we passed the hotel the road turned to mud. It was wet from the previous days downpour — the first rain of the trip — which helped to control the dust, but deep puddles gave the truck trouble. We rolled onto a remarkably smooth dirt road, an outlier compared to the area’s rocky soil, and moved quickly. This short lived momentum ended when we rounded a corner to see an excavator digging away mud that had swallowed a construction truck. A small number of cars and pedestrians gathered to watch the spectacle. It was reminiscent of the way Philadelphians collect on sidewalks when an Amazon truck is blocking a bus or when two citizens get in a screaming match over a minor slight. People are the same all around the world.

At our first stop a local assemblyman pitched us on his business plan to Rent-A-Center water faucets for his lower income constituents. There was a lot of logic to it and his enthusiasm was infectious, but his energy was wasted on our powerless ears. It was about this time, three hours post breakfast, that we realized that we hadn’t packed any food for the day. The first patters of a growling stomach were rising above the oats and toast I ate for breakfast. It was destined to be a long day with little food and water.

Our next few stops were in quick succession and uneventful. The trip to the fourth was the most arduous. A soldier with an M16 motioned for us to stop as we crossed a bridge, for the third time that day and twentieth time of the trip. He waited for me to roll down my window while looking curiously around the car then asked me, the only white guy in the car, if I was okay. My answer did not satisfy him and he asked a series of simple questions (e.g. where are you going?) that I did not know the answer to. With every question he stole a glance at my open computer screen with suspicion. He stared so intently that it seemed like he thought the true reason for my being there would be on the screen: either a size 40 font “HELP” or a step-by-step plan for how I intended to blow up the bridge with an IED. Our driver convinced him all was normal and he waved for us to proceed. We couldn’t help but feel that he thought I was being kidnapped and trafficked. It would’ve been a brilliant camouflage to put me in the front seat with access to my phone, laptop and all my belongings. Nobody would suspect a thing except for the keen eye of one heavily armed soldier. The bridge was safer that day because of him.

Early into the ninety minute drive, past the bridge and its strange guardian, the biome changed and we were surrounded by rice fields without a hill in sight for miles. We had entered Ghanaian Iowa. Much like American Iowa, the flatness was unsettling. It was perfectly level, like an enterprising agrarian had taken a steamroller to the land. Towns were far from each other and much smaller than their counterparts across the river. We drove for over an hour in this expanse passing tiny communities and their residents, one of which was wearing a worn shirt with the outline of Ohio that said, “HOME”. The car was hot. The car is always hot. Our driver and NGO partner spoke back and forth in Twi as each turn approached. I am no linguist, but context clues convinced me that we were lost. Whether that was true or not, we eventually pulled onto a wide dirt road heavily trafficked by trucks and things seemed more certain.

At this point my hunger was guttural. It twisted my stomach into a knot, alternating between pain, rumbling, and peace as my body begged for victuals. It was 2:30 at this point, so I had really just skipped lunch. We skipped lunch every day in the field, so my body should have adapted, but today felt different. The lack of water and idleness perpetuated my weakness.

By the end of the day, we had spent nine hours in the car. The bumpy roads had compressed my spine until I was eye to eye with Danny DeVito. I prayed to my creator to please never make me get in a car again. We truly do have an angry god, because the next morning we were back on four wheels for a three hour drive home.

Just floor it and you’ll be right out

CIA Does it Again

CIA Does it Again

Langley took its coup d’état talents to 1960s Ghana

Langley took its coup d’état talents to 1960s Ghana

Did you do your tithing?

Did you do your tithing?

Pentecostal Church builds skyscraper HQ with donation money

Pentecostal Church builds skyscraper HQ with donation money

Tight Security

Tight Security

“Take pictures, but not too many” says Akosombo dam tour guide

“Take pictures, but not too many” says Akosombo dam tour guide

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